Held by habit

Have you ever felt the air turn on you,

like breathing itself, became the enemy?

You try to stop 

your body betrays you

Keeps dragging in air,

forcing you to stay alive

Each breath,

a blade in your chest 

you breathe in,

it pierces deeper.

You breathe out,

it twists out, slow and merciless,

a reminder that you’re still here.

You wonder how long

this rhythm can last 

how long until the pain

is louder than the pulse.

And when the world says

“hold on,”

you smile,

because they don’t know 

the cruelest part of staying alive

is imagining

how peaceful it might be

to stop.